• Counselor in Berlin

Fairytale for April: Constructive use of our anger

April, the first official month of spring is full of fire energy. The incredible force with which life is reborn in nature never ceases to amaze me: seemingly from one moment to the other, flowers appear suddenly everywhere, even if it's still quite cold, the sunshine just feels different than a few weeks before – and our mood suddenly shifts into another gear as well.

Birth requires an incredible push of energy: the newly developing plants will have to push through the soil that has hardened over winter, animal- and even human babies will need to push through, find their way out, and even our new ideas and plans will need fire to push through. The beginning of spring is therefore full of this raw, elemental fire power and it is also not a surprise, that many spring fairytales revolve around the topic of birth.

One of the ways in which this fire energy expresses itself in ourselves is in our anger. And, just like fire, anger also has positive aspects as well as dangerous sides. When we find ourselves against a challenge, against a barrier, our anger is a great tool, pushing us to keep going, to keep fighting. Anger can push things in motion and help us focus our energy to reach our goal. Too much anger, on the other hand, can become destructive, so as much as it is necessary to keep feeding our inner fire, it is also important to not allow it to burn the whole house down.

The fairytale of the month, the Norwegian "Prince Lindworm" introduces us to both aspects of anger as mentioned above. You can read the fairytale here or you can also listen to the same text below. In either case, come back after the fairytale for some reflection...

Reflection questions:

1. The curious birth of the two princes is a symbol of one not having enough fire: the queen and the king cannot have a child, there seems to be stagnation in the whole system, so they need the witch's help to "jump start" and help things into motion. Are their parts of your life which have been stagnant, that you've wanted to change but have not been able to / been afraid to? If so, this may be a good time to kindle some fire - and help build up the necessary momentum to get things started.

2. The Lindworm is, on the other hand, a great symbol of our anger - when it gets out of control. Lindworm could not receive motherly love at the beginning of his life, and he's so wounded and hurt, that he can only express his pain and need for emotional connection through hurting others. He himself is suffering, as he keeps wanting to get a bride (he wants a connection) be he just keeps destroying it as he is too hurt to be able to stay in any relationship. Sounds familiar? One of the key territories which often indicate that we may have too much fire / anger in the system is the territory of romantic relationships. If you've been wanting to have a relationships, but they keep ending suddenly and often with explosions (huge fights, etc.) , there may be deeper wounds that manifests themselves through our lack to constructively approach intimacy.

3. What finally "heals" the Lindworm, and turns him into the prince that he actually is, is a big dose of tender, feminine, almost motherly (bathing in milk!) love. The love that he didn't receive at the beginning of his life, so the longing for love turned into hatred and anger and pain. If you however now think that the conclusion is to find another person who'll sacrifice themselves to heal us with their selfless love and sacrifice, I'd strongly warn against it: each of us is responsible for our own healing. Rather, the task is to awaken another aspect of our own self, a more tender, a more loving, a more feminine aspect of our own soul that can balance out our inner fire (just like in the symbolic act of shedding the skins of and the washing of the Lindworm) – so that we can be reborn and a well-integrated, balanced self can emerge.

Finding the right balance and the right amount of anger / fire in ourselves has such an important impact on our lives. I hope that this amazing Norwegian folk tale inspires some self-reflection and new ideas. And as always, if you're interested in working with this (or other) fairytale in relation to your own challenges, I encourage you to sign up for a free consultation session here.

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